Mental Health

Songs Helping me Through my Bipolar Diagnosis

When I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (meaning I have “hypomanic” episodes and more depressive episodes instead of full-blown “manic” episodes) it was hard for me to accept. The one thing that helps me get through anything in life is music. So, I sat down and created a playlist of songs that make me think of my disorder. Some are even directly talking about Bipolar Disorder. Some are directly talking about Bipolar 1 but I still relate to them.

I was going to list each song on my “Bipolar Bear” playlist, but it keeps growing and I think this post would be a mile long. Below you will find the songs that fit me THE BEST. My favorite ones in my playlist.

*TW* Some of these songs, and my own explanations, deal with alcohol addiction, self-harm, and suicide ideation. If you feel triggered by any of the things I listed, I advise you to not read this blog post. If you need help or are having suicidal thoughts please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Chord Overstreet – Hold On

Favorite Lyrics:
You lock yourself in the bathroom.
Lying on the floor when I break through.
I pull you in to feel your heartbeat.
Can’t you hear me screaming ‘Please don’t leave me!’

Hold on, I still want you.
Come back, I still need you.
Let me take your head, I’ll make it right.
I swear to love you all my life
Hold on, I still need you

The entire song is amazing and is what I think about when I’m feeling suicidal. I think about what would happen if/when Nathan or the kids found me and I become so consumed with guilt that I’m able to talk myself out of my thoughts. I think about what Nathan would do and how he would feel, and this song is the exact representation of those thoughts. Nathan was the one who sent me this song one day saying it reminded him of me.

Falling Away From Me – Korn

Favorite Lyrics:
Day is here, fading
That’s when I would say
I flirt with suicide
Sometimes, kill the pain
I can always say
‘It’s gonna be better tomorrow’

Falling away from me
Falling away from me

Beating me down
Beating me donw
Beating me, beating me,
Down, down
Into the ground


When I’m feeling suicidal, the night is always the hardest for me. Because then I’m around Nathan and I have to try to act normal and it’s so exhausting. “Sometimes, kill the pain” can either be drinking alcohol or cutting myself. (Though I haven’t done the latter in almost one year and that was the first and only time in six years.)

Manic – Coleman Hell

FAVORITE LYRICS:
The ENTIRE SONG

This entire song represents me in ways I’ve never identified with before. It’s amazing and where I get the title to my “Bipolar Bear” Playlist.

Half – PVRIS

FAVORITE LYRICS:
Some days, I feel everything
Others are numbing
Can never find the in-between
It’s all or nothing

I never, never, never said
that I wanted
I never, never, never said
that I wanted
Never wanted to be here now

One foot in the grave, other
on the ground
I can’t process
what I’m feeling now
This skin I can do without

It’s how I feel sometimes. Some days I feel so numb to the world, other days I feel every single emotion from happy to irritable, to sad. It’s a big mess inside my head at times and there have been so many times that I just wanted to give up. To give into the terrible feelings inside of me. But I continue to fight and push through for my family and for myself.

Mansion – NF

FAVORITE LYRICS:
Again, the entire song represents me so well.

Glass House – Machine Gun Kelly

FAVORITE LYRICS:

And once again, the ENTIRE song. (This one is a little dark.)

View the whole playlist on Apple Music! (I’ll be creating a Spotify playlist soon!)

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