I recently was let-known that I was inspiring by a family member and I thought I would sit down and write a blog post.
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago with Bipolar 2(BP2). It makes so much sense. I’ve had so many diagnosis over the years. Everything from just depression to Bipolar (two times but not defined by one or two at the times) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I thought that one fit me so well due to my constant and consistent mood changes. But I’ve learned why my therapist at the time agreed that was what I had. In BP2 you have what are referred to as “hypomanic episodes”. When you have these kinds of episodes, you feel great. You feel motivated. You have energy to get everything done. It seems like “normal” functioning and it leads to a lot of misdiagnosis. Hypomania doesn’t typically lead to hospitalizations like it’s related episode Mania, does.
People with BP2 also have more depressive episodes and those are the times when they really seek out help. Which only fuels the misdiagnosis’s. People who seek help during these times (at least in my case) have a foggy brain which leads to short-term memory problems. Hence the reason why they cannot remember their last episode.
It was hard to “come out” about this at first, but I did it because if I could help one person feel the need to seek out help for their own mental well-being then I did my job. To know that I’m inspiring others by talking about my mental health it is truly an amazing feeling. It’s why I wanted to do this in the first place.
The reason I sought out help this time around is more unconventional, if I must say, I have been planning and working on a non-fiction book based on certain parts of my life. The trauma I experienced was real and is still affecting me to this day. The first book I started to work on became too much and I got to the point where even thinking about it was making me anxious and sick. The repercussions for telling MY OWN story are unfortunately, what’s holding me back. I’m now considering just blogging my experiences. My traumas. Shorter writing tasks are really helpful to me. No matter what kind of episode I’m in.
I want to help people. Those with mental illnesses and those that are just struggling in general. Hey maybe even stable people who have a loved one that’s suffering. I want to be an inspiration to others. I want the world to know that it’s okay to not be okay. I have so many post ideas and I hope I inspire others through them.
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