There’s a million things going through my mind 99% of the time right before sex. It makes me tense up and as we begin, I have to remind myself to breathe. To just relax and let my body take over.

It can be hard to relax for some people and relaxation is the key to the BEST ORGASMS. Seriously, when you’re tense they don’t feel as good and seem to last for a shorter amount of time. When I’m more relaxed from the get go, my orgasms are longer and more intense.

Seriously though, there have been times where I had a hard time coming, and it was a shitty orgasm or I just never came. I am always able to trace it back to some sort of mental block. Something causing me to be more tense and less present. It’s not fun being stuck in your head during sex because the orgasms almost always suck. #NotWorthIt

Here’s a few things you can do to relax both before and during sex.

How To Relax

Before Sex

  1. Breathe – If you’re feeling jittery at all, just take a couple deep breaths. Slow your breathing and you’ll feel yourself calm down.
  2. Focus – If you’re still feeling really nervous, try to focus on what’s going on. The sights, the smells, the way their fingertips feel on your skin, their lips pressed into yours. Focus on those and not on what’s making you nervous.
  3. Be Confident – You’re about to get laid so be confident. Don’t worry so much about what you look like. You look fucking sexy. Tell yourself that! I’m serious. Tell yourself you are sexy and you will feel sexy.

During Sex

  1. Breathe – Remember to keep taking those slow, deep breathes. Because that will help you stay relaxed and plus it’s exercise, breathing right is good when you exercise.
  2. Communicate – If something is bothering you, tell your partner. Let them know how you are feeling. Don’t let the uncomfortable thing continue on. It will become evident and make your partner feel uncomfortable too. Communicate so the problem can be fixed and you can both relax and enjoy the sex sesh.
  3. Feel – Feel yourself. Think about what is turning you on. What feels good and what you like. Feel your partners body and the movements they are making or the movements you are making. Think about what you’re feeling.
  4. Focus – Don’t get distracted. Don’t let pesky every day thoughts enter your mind (or worse – any of those insecurities!) if your mind wanders, maybe your partner isn’t doing somehting you enjoy and you should go back and read number two above.

I also suggest yogo and meditation to keep yourself more relaxed all the time. Life is so much more enjoyable that way and then when it’s time to head to the bedroom you know you’ll have a much easier time orgasming.

These are tips and tricks I personally have/do use and it’s seriously improved my orgasm frequency and intensity and I really wish more people would try them out. You’re missing out on some great shit otherwise.

Stay Sexy. Stay Positive.



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