Are you truly unhappy with your sex life with your partner? Here’s something you can do about it: COMMUNICATE WHAT’S WRONG. Seriously, your partner can’t read your mind.

If they are eating you out and just not hitting the right spots, or maybe not moving their tongue right or going too slow. Tell them. Don’t just hold back and fake the pleasure. This does two things: leaves you unsatisfied and leaves them thinking they are good at what they are doing and then they never learn. If they aren’t willing to try out your suggestions, then that’s on them. Not you. You will never know though unless you try.

The same goes for if your dick is getting sucked. If they aren’t doing it right, tell them!! You can’t expect someone to get better if you don’t tell them. Their teeth in the way? Tell them! Is there not enough variety, (i.e. not using their hands or attempting to deep throat or using their tongue), let them know what you want.

Season 2 Flirting GIF by Blunt Talk - Find & Share on GIPHY

How To Handle Not Having Sex

Don’t pressure your partner. Don’t make them feel like it’s a chore they have to do. Because this will just force them to fake it for you, or even just continue to not have sex with you. Stop making your partner feel like all you want is sex. It’s getting the both of you NOWHERE.

You need to have a real, honest conversation. Because a lot of times there is some sort of underlying problem. You need to get down to that problem. You need to figure out what is going on in your relationship that’s stopping your partner from wanting to be intimate. It could be physical, mental, or emotional and making sex more important then the wellbeing of your significant other will be DETRIMENTAL to your relationship.

Sex is important in a relationship. People like to say it’s not, but it really is. Think about it. Sex releases feel-good hormones. It’s good on your mental and physical health. It bonds you to your partner. You share an intimate moment and you can grow closer to that person. If you aren’t having sex regularly (regularly is purely speculative. There is no real number that should be followed. If you have sex every day, GREAT. If you have sex once a week because it’s all you can fit in, GREAT) then something is wrong and you both need to TALK and figure out what’s going on.

If you are using no-more-sex as a punishment, just breakup. Seriously. It’s not healthy for either one of you. You cannot punish your significant other for things they have done. That’s how you get trapped in a toxic relationship.

If You Can’t Communicate

Honestly, if you cannot communicate what you really want and you are just completely unsatisfied, maybe you need to take some time and mature more. In order to have a good sex life, you have to communicate. If you hold everything in, it can lead to resentment which isn’t healthy or fair.

Your partner will never be able to improve and you both may never figure out what the other truly likes if you don’t communicate. You will both be left feeling miserable instead of happy and satiated. (Unless you can’t be satiated like me.) And then both of you will move on to someone new and neither will have improved so neither will be able to work on their skills with their new partner. Once again you won’t communicate in your new relationship either.

How about avoid that vicious cycle and just talk to your partner. Openly communicate with each other and see how much your sex-life and relationship changes.

Relationship GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Stay sexy. Stay positive.

XX,

Ashley

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