Oh my god. Is this really going to happen? I want him so bad, but I’m scared. What if I’m not good enough? What if he breaks up with me right away? Should I really be doing this? Yes, yes I should.
We’re downstairs in T’s basement. He’s on his computer and we start making out. Hormones add fuel to the fire and neither of us is stopping. Not this time at least. We tried a few days before but it hurt too much. It was too hard to keep quiet. I was too scared.
Now here we are, trying again. I take my pants off and so does he. He sits down in his computer chair and I shaking-ly straddle him and I slide onto his hard cock.
It hurts! Oh my god, that hurts. I can’t turn back now though, he’s almost fully inside of me now. Holy shit. That hurts so much.
He’s fully inside of me now and I’m officially a woman. But it’s uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel good at all. Tears fill my eyes.
“Want to go upstairs?” He asks.
I nod my head, we both put our pants back on and quickly go to his room. My cousin is in the living room. Fuck this is so awkward. She’s going to know what’s happening.
I want to make this guy happy. He’s older and I don’t want him to break up with me. I don’t want him to think I’m a prude. I’m really horny, too.
We go into his room and strip down. He climbs onto the bed, telling me he wants me on top because then we can go at whatever pace I need to.
I’m so nervous. I feel sick. What if I don’t do it right? Do I look stupid? Do I look sexy? Do I look like the girls in the porn movie’s I watch on weekends?
He’s back inside of me. This time it’s less painful, but FUCK it still hurts.
This feels good. No, wait this hurts. No it feels good. No wait, the burning is back. This is uncomfortable. Am I doing this right? Do I suck? Is it still supposed to hurt?
“Cum for me.” He says.
Can I do it? Can I orgasm? How do they work? Oh wait, this feels good. Eh, it still hurts quite a bit. Ugh, what about the blood. Disgusting. Being a woman is gross. I’m losing my virginity. Oh my god, can A hear us? Ugh. I’m nervous to face her. What if my mom finds out? She’s gonna kill me. Why the fuck am I thinking about her right now. Ooo wait, that feels good. Oh wow. I think I’m going to orgasm. Oh wow. That feels really good.
We come at the same time.
Wow. I’m not a virgin. I feel older. I feel more mature. No wait, I feel really weird. I’m sore. What do I do now? How do I act? What do I say? Did he really enjoy it? Was I awful? Did he compare me to the other girls he’s been with? Is he thinking about his ex? Is he thinking about breaking up with me? I should check on myself. What if I just got pregnant? Birth control is pretty effective right? Oh fuck what if I am pregnant? I’ll have to tell my mom. Oh my God, I don’t want her to find out. She’ll kill me I bet. Holy fuck. I’m a woman. My vagina hurts. When will this stop?
HOLY FUCK I ORGASMED DURING MY FIRST TIME.
This was how my first time went. This is why I’m glad I wasn’t a virgin when I got married. I didn’t have to be afraid. I got to enjoy my first time as a wife. Losing my virginity left me with this strange feeling for weeks after. It’s something I no longer regret, but it’s something I wish to never repeat again.
Stay sexy. Stay positive.