I’ve always loved heels.
In 5th grade, I used to sneak a pair of heels with me every day. They weren’t that tall, but I loved them regardless. My mom would drop me off and I’d walk up the field to where my class was until she left. Then I’d stop and change my shoes which were hidden away in my backpack. Of course, I wouldn’t do it on P.E. day because well, P.E. I remember I started doing it in the winter because a teacher asked me if my toes were cold. I told her no but they were, of course, freezing.
I stopped at the end of the year and after that, I didn’t wear them until 8th Grade Formal.
In high school is when my obsession truly took on. I used to spend hours looking at heels in Angels just to walk out with a pair I’d never wear. I loved them so much. I loved buying them and wearing them to prom and homecoming. But I’d never been brave enough to wear them at school. And my feet hurt. I couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to wear them all the time.
There was a girl at my high school that used to wear them with skirts every single day. I used to look down on her when I was in high school because A. I was a depressed-hormone-raging-immature-bitch. And B. I didn’t even know her. I look back now and think of how ridiculous that is. She felt comfortable enough to dress that way. And I was jealous of her confidence. I wanted to be that confident. I wanted to wear heels every day. But I was too much of a pussy to do so.
Then I had a baby and got it stuck in my head that I couldn’t just go around wearing shoes like that because, GASP, I’m a mom! How dare I dress too “sexy” when I have children. You’re just a slut if you do that. I mean come on you already have a kid at 18 years old. (There’s that insecurity showing again.)
After that, I dated a douchebag that controlled me and threw me on a couch one night because I gave B’s father a hug. There was no getting back together with B’s father at this point. It was a 100% friendly hug. I left him the next day.
Next came the one with the foot fetish and what started me on buying more heels. I think in the course of three months, I bought 4 pairs of heels. The most I’d ever owned at one time. (I also had a couple pairs from high school.) But I still had a hard time wearing them because I felt like a slut. Because that is what was drilled in my head by the media and peers. That if you wear heels all the time and aren’t working a job that you need them you were a slut.
Then came the final douchebag. The one that was so much more violent, so much more controlling and evil than the one that threw me onto the couch. He tried to get me to throw them out. I wasn’t going to put up with that though and I didn’t throw them out. But I never wore them either. This time was out of fear of what he’d do.
NOW THAT’S SOME BULLSHIT.
Fast forward to now today. December 19, 2018. I have worn heels a few times but I always complain about my feet hurting when in reality I’ve had it stuck in my head that I was not allowed to dress like this because I’m a mom.
But today I’m saying FUCK THAT.
A goal of mine for 2019 is to wear heels at least twice a week. Because I love them so much. I stare and drool over heels all the time. But I never wear them. That’s changing this next year. Baby or not. I’m going to indulge in something I love for once. Heels make me feel sexy and I just love wearing them. So that’s what I’m going to do wear them.
I encourage each and every single one of you that have had the same immature thoughts as myself, to not hold back anymore. Join me in wearing heels. Embrace the part of you. Post a picture of you in heels to Twitter or Instagram @ashxdannielle with the #2019HeelsChallenge
Do you love heels? Whether it’s a fetish, or you love wearing them or you just find them sexy, I wanna know.
Stay sexy. Stay Positive.